Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving Evening in Front of the Vast Waste of TV Land

"You know what movie this is?"
"Yes, it's Conan the Destroyer. I saw it when you had the info on."
"But do you know which one it is?"
"Is it the annoying one with the girl and the island?"
"I don't know why everyone disses this movie. It has Grace Jones in it."
"Grace Jones is the best part of this movie."
A short discussion ensues about the annoying and not so annoying characters in the movie as the heroes move to rescue the magical Asian character from being roasted alive.
"How is this different from The 13th Warrior?
"You're kidding, right?"
"Other than Grace Jones, of course... They both have sword fighting."
On TV, the bad guys are riding across a vast plain.
"Well, they both have villains on horseback dressed in black with skulls on their heads. And, the main characters have accents."
"They're both taciturn."
"Yes, both have taciturn main characters with accents."


Anonymous said...

Thanksgiving with Conan -- it's a tradition.

Kristin said...

If only there were more... :)

Anonymous said...

I adore you for watching Conan for Thanksgiving. But I hear so much confusion here and I feel duty-bound to set things straight.

Conan the Barbarian is a fabulous, timeless saga of the highest caliber. I have tried from time to time to explain why I hold this movie in such high esteem, but I've never been able to. I think it's just about as good as fantasy gets.

The Thirteenth Warrior is a flawed but still delightful mixture of fun nordic-ish fantasy and random Antonio Banderas. Karen and I went and saw it on the big screen while Jeremiah was a-brewin', so to speak, and Karen declared that it would make the tot a mighty one.

Conan the Destroyer, unfortunately, is just abysmal. Grace Jones is wonderful to watch in action, but even she cannot salvage much from the pitiful dialogue.

There were rumours of a third. I was kind of hoping Arnold would lose this election, just so he could become the King of Aquilonia for a brief lovely few hours.