To the rest of the country: We scorn your snow. Here, we know that winter isn't snow. Snow usually means balmy days above zero. Nights with clouds are warmer than clear nights. Here, true winter is the bright, sunny two weeks in January when we enter the deep freeze. We measure these days by the wind chill. Without wind, we can convince ourselves it's not so bad. You step outside and your nostrils instantly freeze shut, thus preventing the dry cold from sucking all the moisture out of your body. Gloves and boots that normally keep you toasty warm, barely keep you from frostbite as you wait for your car heater to catch up or as you sprint into the nearest building. You can keep your stupid snow. The winter carnival will go on. (I wouldn't mind the cold so much if we weren't all sick. Cough. Cough.)